Jeff Foxworthy has made of living out of the phrase….”you might be a redneck if….”, and some of the stuff he comes up with is downright hilarious.
Now, I don’t have a similar phrase to apply to us airgun shooters….all of us, including the competitors, hunters, and plinkers…..but I have noticed some very funny things that happen when you have shot an airgun for awhile. It seems that shooting an airgun can alter one’s perception of the world around them. Here are some examples:
1. Pellets found in the clothes dryer aren’t thrown away….they are inspected to see if the skirts are still in good enough condition to shoot.
2. Anything wearing feathers is instantly classified as friendly/unfriendly, and range estimation is considered on each unfriendly.
3. While watching Sci-fi TV shows, every new “laser gun” or weapon that the characters use is closely examined to see what airgun it was based upon. (Check out some old Bond movies as a good example!)
4. You WANT starlings to land in your yard so you’ll have something to shoot at!
5. While shopping at Lowe’s or Home Depot, you notice the free-flying birds that are loose in the store, and wonder if you can talk the manager into letting you shoot them after-hours.
6. Driving to the corner store for milk is a chore, but driving 30 miles to pick up 2 tins of pellets is a required outing!
7. You hide extra money or income from loved ones so that you can sneak one more airgun into your collection at an opportune moment.
8. You agree that Tom Skerritt, in “Steel Magnolias”, should have used an airgun to get rid of the birds before the wedding instead of shooting up into the air with a firearm!
9. During lean times, you go through the couch cushions to see if you not only have any spare change down there, but spilled pellets from your pockets.
10. When an animal runs across the road in front of your car, you immediately think what airgun you would have used to shoot it if you had the chance.
11. You raid the pantry, not for food, but for crackers shaped like little animals since they make such good targets!
12. You buy paintballs and golf tees, even though you don’t have a paintball gun or golf. You like putting the paintballs on golf tees to shoot and watch them splatter.
13. During a country drive, you look for shooting venues….old barns, abandoned warehouses, etc….and wonder who owns the property and how you can get in touch with them.
14. During President Reagan’s televised funeral, you noticed the jack rabbit at the bottom of the screen slowly hop across the scene….and you thought…”Hmmm…I wonder….”
Do you notice some odd points of view that you have since you shoot an airgun? Share some of them with us…it would be great to have a long response thread!